It's The Wallabies Who Need The Tut-tutting

Sydney Morning Herald

Saturday August 19, 2006

Mike Carlton

LET the world go up in flames. We Aussies get our priorities right: the horror, the horror of Andrew Johns calling a linesman a f---ing c---.

The media went into overdrive. The talkback phone lines ran white hot. The shock waves thundered all the way to Canberra. Primly, John Howard tut-tutted that people in the public spotlight had to be aware of their actions.

Kim Beazley, as you'd expect, over-egged the pudding and then some. "Joey Johns, don't go," he pleaded in response to the terrifying news that the naughty Knight might pull the pin and take off to play in Britain. "You've got five good years left in you, and Newcastle needs five premierships," he honked.

Happily, the world's greatest player delivered an undoubtedly heartfelt apology and copped two weeks off, not a season-ending four. Oh, the relief.

Before the nutters rush to their keyboards to savage me, yet again, for my league-hating, private-school origins, a word of advice for tonight's rugby union test match against the All Blacks in Auckland.

If the Wallabies play as they did against South Africa in Sydney two weeks ago, they will be belted around the ground and trampled in the dirt, and deservedly so.

That game against the 'Boks was atrocious, a brain-dead kick-fest, which had the forwards plodding in ever-decreasing circles around the centre line while the ball sailed back and forth over their heads for most of the night.

It was almost enough to make me turn in the tweed jacket with the leather patches.